While last night's Monday Night RAW didn't exactly deliver outstanding matches (for the most part), it proved to be highly entertaining. Roster members from WWE's two other brands, Smackdown and ECW featured prominently on the program as did a few surprise guests. Even if the matches weren't tremendous, the comedy factor was at an all-time high.
Live from California, the show opens up with the return of DX -- for one night only -- swagged-out to the nines and with Shawn Michaels doing happy little wind-sprints around the ring as Triple H stood atop the ropes.
Just as Triple H is about to inform the audience to get ready to suck it, Hornswoggle comes out to the middle of the ring, chasing around Shawn Michaels excitedly. Triple H tries to persuade Hornswoggle to go back under the ring, yet the little guy refuses.
Shawn takes out the run-sheet from his boot at The H's urging and tries to explain that this segment at 9:00 - Eastern time - is supposed to be reserved for DX. Later on, in a "short segment," that's when Hornswoggle is supposed to come out.
Hornswoggle takes Shawn over with a short-armed scissors. Amused by this, Shawn and Trips decide that for tonight, Hornswoggle is an honorary member of DX. When they ask him once again to go back under the ring, Hornswoggle refuses to ring claiming that there's a monster under there.
Shawn looks to see if it's all clear and gets dragged under the ring. He comes back up with a mouthful of worms. Cue the Boogeyman's music and he comes out from under the ring as Hornswoggle cowers between The H's legs. The Boogeyman emerges from a sea of red mist. He enters the ring and speaks: "I'm the Boogeyman and I'm coming… to see if I can join DX" with a lisp a la Dusty Rhodes. Triple H gives him the green light and Boogie is another DX member, claiming "You can never have enough nerds, freaks and weirdos."
The Great Khali comes out with his interpreter. The H takes one look at the big man and says, "Let me guess. You wanna join DX? Go on, get in the back." An odd assembly of Khali and his interpreter, Hornswoggle, and The Boogeyman join Shawn Michaels and Triple H on the DX lines as Coach comes out to bust up the party. The H threatens to tell Runjin what Coach said about that nice Mr. Giant Khali. Khali finds out and tosses Coach out of the ring.
Somehow, the ring is cleared of all of the newly-acquired DX members and HBK and HHH heralding this segment as the worst thing since Katie Vick. I disagree, however. This was rather entertaining and fun. Then again, I thought the Katie Vick segment was pure, tasteless brilliance. DX goes into the usual crotch chop bit before the show heads to a commercial break.
After clips of last week's awesome Diva Costume Battle Royal with Victoria and her hilarious sumo costume and ECW's Kelly Kelly winning the battle royal before being decimated by Women's Champion Beth Phoenix, it's time for…
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
Wow. Kelly Kelly is going to get klobbered klobbered. And she does, with a stiff-armed clothesline. Picks Kelly up in a fisherman's suplex a pins her in under a minute.
That was a waste of a match. Better yet, that was more like an impression of a match. I'm guessing that this is to put over Phoenix as a total monster of a heel who will be damn near unstoppable. It's working.
Backstage, Santino delivers an aweome promo with a paper bag. He's brought it so that in the event Stone Cold Steve Austin actually does show up, he can act his way out of it.
After another commercial break, you can tell WWE is readying themselves for Thanksgiving. That's right. Because it's time for Squash Match #2 of the night.
Initially, it looks like it's going to be Carlito vs. some jobber named Joey with Mr. Caribbean Cool delivering a promo in the ring. Instead, however, he's substituted the jobber's brand of coffee with Snitsky, filling in for Carlito on this match.
Jim Ross calling Snitsky a "dentist's delight" is probably the best thing about this extremely brief match, ending with Snitsky giving Joey the Jobber a pump-handled slam before pinning him. Snitsky then goes apeshit and snaps on Carlito, knocking the apple out of Carlito's mouth. Much more remarkable than this is the fact that now Snitsky is being allowed to grow his eyebrows back AND his goatee. How about that! Lookin' good, Gene! Lookin' good!
Up next is an entire music video devoted to the career of Matt Hardy to the tune of Lostprophets "Rooftops". Several "holy shit!" moments ensue, showcasing highlights of Hardy's career, including a number of high spots and high-risk maneuvers from many of his TLC matches. Looks like the Rainbow Haired Warrior is due for a well-deserved push.
The video serves as a segway to an
Interpromotional Tag Team Match
Mr. Kennedy & Finlay vs. Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio
After the commercial break, Hardy and Finlay lock up. That's when I notice that Jeff's hair is a blonde shade tonight and not very rainbow at all. Weird. Finlay drops the shoulder hard on Hardy and twists his arm. Hardy counters and gets feisty, later on slapping Finlay with a hard crack across the face. Finlay and Kennedy stare one another down outside the match after Kennedy accidentally hits Finlay.
After the commercial break, Rey mixes it up with Kennedy. Mysterio lands a killer twisting, standing headscissors before Kennedy delivers a low dropkick and drags him to the corner to tag in Finlay.
Finlay works over Rey's leg in a half-Boston crab. Kennedy bashes Mysterio in the face after lifting him up backwards by his bent leg, dropping his knee to the canvas. Finlay arrives to try to work him over but Mysterio takes him over from the top rope and down to the mat.
Another tag is made and it's Hardy vs. Kennedy. Jeff lands a mule kick to Kennedy's chest for a 2 count. Whisper in the Wind by Hardy on Kennedy. Mysterio hits the 619 on Kennedy and the West Coast Pop on Finlay. Hardy drags Kennedy back into the ring and pins him for the win.
This ended up being a pretty cool match. Hardy and Mysterio were an unexpected combination whose styles complimented one another really well as partners. Also, Kennedy and Finlay looked pretty good. Ideally, I'd have loved to see a Kennedy/Finlay confrontation, particularly since they, too, have similar brawler styles. It was a well-choreographed match, however, it could have been even more enjoyable without the long commercial break smack dab in the middle.
Backstage, Santino is still harping to the camera about Stone Cold before he's interrupted by Maria who informs him that he is actually in the building tonight. Santino laughs it off, saying that there's a "greater chance of Stone Cold winning an Oscar." Again, Santino is pure, comedic gold.
After the commercial break, Santino postures in the middle of the ring, continuing his tirade on Stone Cold. Marella mangles some of Stone Cold's best catchphrases, talking about "stomping a mud pie" and "the whoop-ass can." Apparently, the Texas Rattlesnake could take no more and made his entrance to the arena to a sizeable pop from the crowd. After schooling Santino on how to properly use these catchphrases, he ran to the back to demonstrate his mutant power of being able to drive nearly any vehicle, Stone Cold drives out a giant Budwiser truck and takes out Santino with the beer hose then hoses down Maria.
Backstage, Hornswoggle and Vinnie Mac have yet another heart to heart chat. Mr. McMahon espouses the value of Tough Love Parenting, saying that, "Now, I'm not the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, but I know a thing or two about parenting." I wanted to give the Mac Daddy a high five for that one. Demonstrating his "tough love," next week, Hornswoggle will be facing The Great Khali. Uh-oh.
After another commercial break, DX delivers a promo in which Triple H cops to the fact that he's out there to eat up time since the ring crew has to change the mat since Stone Cold soaked it with beer. Triple H stalls by asking Shawn to bring out the D-Generation X dancers. Out comes Big Dick Johnson with a tiny orange speedo and green DX glow sticks, prancing wildly
Triple H shoots HBK a look of disapproval and Shawn counters that he's a married man with two kids and an SUV… How should he know what cool is?! The H rectifies the situation, but not before Shawn leaves after covering his eyes. Kendra and Bridget from The Girls Next Door come out and dance with Triple H.
After the commercial break it's …
Cody Rhodes vs. Trevor Murdoch
Cody comes out to the ring accompanied by Hardcore Holly, who is apparently his new mentor. Backstage, Mickie James wishes Trevor Murdoch luck. Trevor is sweet and seems rather flattered while Cade is obviously trying to cock block his tag team partner. Trevor is dropping some serious weight lately. Go Trevor! He's not exactly hotness personified, but he's looking a lot better.
The match starts with Trevor slapping Rhodes hard across the back. Rhodes returns the favor with a headbutt from outside the ropes. Murdoch nails him with a Snapmare and tries to pick up Cody for a suplex. Cody gets out of it, jumping over Murdoch's head and segwaying into a Bulldog by Rhodes. Murdoch counters with a hard boot to the chest to no avail. Somehow, Cody gains momentum rather swiftly and gets the three-count.
Not a bad match, although it was a little quick. Murdoch moves well and Rhodes is really shaping up to be a pretty good wrestler. I'm not sure where they're going with the Rhodes/Holly combo or storyline, however.
Following the Murdoch/Rhodes match, ironically, the sons of two legends, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler pay tribute to the late Fabulous Moolah, Lillian Ellison. She was 84 years old. They showed a very nice video package and career retrospective as a tribute. Moolah holds the distinction of being the longest reigning champion ever, and that includes both men and women, having held the Women's Championship belt for 28 years. She was a major part of women's wrestling history and seemed like a really kick ass lady. You can't help but admire someone who loved her craft so much that she continued to perform at an age where most women would be content to bake cookies for the grandkids. R.I.P. Moolah.
After the commercial break, another impression of a match,
The World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy
Prior to the match, Hacksaw and Super Crazy attempt to get the crowd going with alternating chants of "Si!" and "Ho!", kinda like "Dumb & Dumber." Although their effort was a valiant one, the crowd seemed pretty dead. Hacksaw yells at Haas as he and Benjamin work over Super Crazy. Hacksaw starts a "USA" chant from the ring apron while, somehow in some super-mysterious way, Super Crazy scores an insta-pin on Shelton Benjamin. As a reward, Hacksaw pets Super Crazy on top of his head. No. Really. Hacksaw petted Super Crazy.
This wasn't even a match. It was just a minute of rolling around in the ring. It seems that Shelton Benjamin is being squandered once again, having been pinned by Super Crazy. While Benjamin should be main eventing, instead, he's become a jobber to the stars which is pretty sad.
Up next, finally, is the "One Night Only" return of DX in action against Randy Orton and Umaga.
The match starts with Michaels going after Orton with a vengeance, working over his arm. After commercial break, Umaga runs at The H in the corner attempting to ass splash him. The H moves out of the way and Umaga mashes his own ass into it. Orton steps in and gets clobbered by Triple H, both men knocked out on the canvas.
Orton and HHH eventually make it up and tag in their partners. Umaga pummels Shwn in the corner. Umaga later goes after Shawn's traps, squeezing down on them with the Vulcan/Samoan Nerve Pinch before knocking him back to the canvas with a headbutt. Umaga climbs to the top rope and tries to splash him, but Michaels moves out of the way at the last second, crawling to try to tag in HHH. Umaga takes off after HBK once again, but the veteran nails Umaga with an Ensiguri kick and makes the tag.
Orton and The H duke it out. Umaga tries to intervene and gets a facebuster for his efforts before Triple H throws him from ringpost to ringpost. He hits the spinebuster on Orton, sending him to the canvas. Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Orton, but Umaga comes in with a Samoan Spike at the last second. Triple H is winged by Orton and accidentally flies at Umaga, knocking him off the apron. Triple H tags in Michaels who hits the Sweet Chin Music on Orton and gets the pin for DX.
Once again, Orton has been taken out by Shawn Michaels. Which only means that when it comes down to another match for the title, in spite of all these other wins, Orton will retain.
Match-wise, this episode of RAW was severely lacking. In the entertainment department, however, this one delivered. Yet again, Santino Marella proves his worth more so on the mike than the mat. For the love of all that is holy, please keep Marella out of the ring. However, a weekend without a comedic segment by Santino is like a week without sunshine.
The DX reunion made for a nice attraction and a lot of merriment for the night. The opening segment was kind of a fun way to incorporate three different rosters and some of the more **ahem** "unique" talent from each one.
As far as matches go, the Rey/Jeff Hardy vs. Finlay/Kennedy pairing was probably the best of the show in terms of the ring ability of each of the men involved. While this wasn't an outstanding RAW for matches, overall, it was quite enjoyable.
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