SummerSlam 08-26-07

For the second-biggest PPV of the WWE calendar year, SummerSlam was something of a disappointment. Not a single title changed hands and you know what that means. John Cena is still the WWE Champion. While he and Randy Orton put on a tremendous match, both men clearly giving their all, the crowd was firmly behind uber-villain Orton pulling for the strap to finally change hands.

The 20th Annual SummerSlam spectacular kicked off with a ton of pyro live from the Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey. Boasting a stage lit with tiki torches, faux palm trees, and grass huts the ambience appeared to be like Gilligan's Island with ass whoopings!

As each of the tri-brand announce teams are shown, I could have sworn that Jerry "The King" Lawler must have raided my Dad's closet for his wardrobe.

Things started off swiftly with Kane (with heavily taped ribs) vs. Finlay in the night's curtain jerker. A staple of the match, Finlay and Kane delivered some hardcore punches to one another, hitting heavily. In the early moments of the match, Kane had the upper hand, whomping Finlay with elbows, fists, and some vicious kicks. Kane convincingly sold the rib-injury throughout. At various points during the match, Kane made it look almost impossible to pick up Finlay in his patented choke slam, but eventually having moments of extreme strength, picking up Finlay with one hand at times during the bout. .

The tide turned mid-match when Finlay upped his offence, stomping Kane in the stomach and ribs. In a particularly brutal move, Finaly executes a horizontal jump and lands ass-first on Kane's ribs. OUCH! Yanking Kane's leg backwards with his hand around his knee, Finlay wears down the Big Red Machine's ribs applying pressure. Kane delivered an ensaguri kick in order to break the hold, taking Finlay to the canvas.

The momentum shifted once again with Kane running at Finlay in the corner. He dodges and Kane eats turnbuckle. Finlay capitalizes and gets a 2-count. Finlay rolls out of the ring and fetches the Cruiserweight Champion, Hornswoggle out from under the ring. Kane goes after Hornswoggle who escaped under the ring.

Kane grabs both Hornswoggle and Finlay in his big mits, trying to chokeslam both, his to his injured ribs hamper his ability to pull off his finisher. Finlay tries to hook the leg and can't do it. He goes to the corner, taking off the turnbuckle pad and then goes for the sheleighly. Before he can use it, the stick is confiscated by ref and Finlay gets a new one thanks to the covert leprechaun ops of Hornswoggle beneath the ring. Finlay belts Kane in the ribs. The big man doubled over, Finaly runs at Kane in the corner but Kane moves out of the way and Finlay clobbers himself on the ring post. Kane capitalizes with a chokeslam on Finlay and gets the three count! Kane wins!

This was a surprisingly good match considering it was a last minute addition to the card. Two of the most underrated guys in wrestling today put on a great match. Finlay's hard-hitting style juxtaposed nicely with Kane's non-traditionally swift big-man style. The drama content of the match was well-executed with Kane milking the rib injury and Finlay trying to use it -- and Hornswoggle -- to his advantage. This ended up being a sleeper hit of the PPV, one of the best matches of the night.

Some backstage comedy ensues, taking the viewers to the backstage party with all the GMs and their assistants. Vince, Armando Estrada (Yay! He's finally back!), Teddy Long, William Regal, and Coach are all present, mulling over the question of who Vince's illegitimate spawn is. Vince is supposedly expecting a woman to show up with details and sends Armando on the lookout for her. Santino Marella, whose comedic stylings have really grown on me, bursts in, telling the sneering Regal to shut up before dropping a suggestion to Mr. McMahon that he could be his long-lost son and serenading him with "O, My Papa!" Marella is angrily dispatched as Regal, pure comedic genius throughout the whole of the PPV, calls him a "moron" in the most simple, elegant, and hilarious way ever.

The still out-of-commission MVP drops in with an idea for a potential contest for himself and Matt Hardy to be shown later in the evening, setting up a surprise guest appearance.

Up next is the three-way battle for the Intercontinental Title featuring Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. the reigning Intercontinental Champion Umaga

Kennedy is out first and the microphone descends with Kennedy hyping himself as the next I.C. champ in a fairly lackluster promo. Carlito is next followed by the champ with probably the best music in wrestling, Umaga! Umaga's got even more tattoos this time around, closing in on a full tribal sleeve on his right arm.

Umaga clobbers both Kennedy and Carlito, knocking the apple out of his mouth before hammering away at both men. Kennedy gets several headshots by the Samoan Bulldozer's heavy fists before Carlito is tossed out of the ring.

Attempting an alliance strategy, Kennedy and Carlito circle the ring trying to attack Umaga. Carlito rushes in looking for the legs but is averted. Kennedy makes the save on Carlito in the corner as Umaga tried for the ass-splash. Kennedy grabbed the Bulldozer's legs from the apron and yanked him out of the ring. Outside, Kennedy and lands a boot on Umaga's shoulder pressing it against the steel stairs.

Carlito and Kennedy mix it up in the ring with Kennedy stomping Carlito's "apples." Carlito comes back with a springboard elbow, bouncing back in what looked kind of like the Backstabber. Kennedy delivers a very nice inverted Russian Legsweep, planting Carlito face first to the mat. Umaga comes back and yanks Kennedy out and gives him serious air and pulling him between the ropes and hard out to the outside mats in a brutal looking spot before crashing down on Carlito from the second rope.

The battle escalates as Kennedy pulls Carlito out of the way of another Umaga attack and then grabs a monitor from the table and beans the I.C. champ with it in the head.

After more teamwork with the duo trying to double-arm slam Umaga, the big man and Umaga picks them both up and sends them backwards in a jaw-dropping double-suplex.

From there, he goes for the Samoan Drop on Carlito and the Swinging Sidewalk Slam on Kennedy. Carlito breaks up a nearfall on Kennedy, only to be ferociously ass-splashed in the corner. Kennedy then bounces back with with his awesome finisher on Carlito, rolling forward with a near pin before Umaga intervenes with the Samoan Spike and finally pins Kennedy. Umaga wins and retains his Intercontinental Title.

Another one of the best matches on the PPV. Surprisingly, all three guys looked really good out there. Umaga has shown a marked improvement within the past year and Kennedy's wrestling style is a throwback to the old-school with classic pro-wrestling ground-battle brutality. Even if his promos haven't been as stellar as they once were, Kennedy puts on a top-notch display in the ring. Carlito looked decent out there and did his part, which basically, was to act as a warm body to fill out the third slot in the match. It's likely the feud will continue between Kennedy and Umaga until they figure out some sort of a standalone storyline for Umaga.

The long-awaited return of Rey Mysterio came to a head with his battle against long-time rival, Chavo Guerrero. Guerrero kept the feud alive while Mysterio was on the mend.

Prior to the match, footage was shown of Chavo with one of Rey's masks, wearing it, talking to it, and making it talk to everyone he's beaten down. You gotta hand it to the guy, Chavo rocks with props and interaction with them. Not since the WCW days with his pal Pepe has Chavo been given such an opportunity to animate inanimate objects to such a superlative degree.

Making his entrance, Chavo came out wearing an awesome poncho that even Ugly Betty would envy, black with Olde English lettering outlined in gold, saying "Warrior," (which, coincidentally, as JBL points out, is the English translation for Chavo's surname.)

Rey comes out, jumping up from the platform with a whopping amount of height and painted in silver bodypaint with silver pants and a matching mask Somewhere, the Tin Man is wondering who broke into his closet. The look is not flattering and only accentuates the pounds Rey-Rey packed on during his time off.

A "Chavo Sucks" chant breaks out, which I must disagree with. After a series of complicated moves flipping over one another and using one another's feet to counterbalance each other, Chavo flips Rey out of the ring. Early on in the match and throughout the whole of it, Chavo kicks away at the surgically repaired knee of Mysterio.

Rey, however, still has it. As Chavo was thrown from the ring, Rey landed a perfect sault over the top rope and crashes down on Guerrero on the outside.

Once back in the ring, JBL and Michael Cole go to great lengths to recount the feud and what took Mysterio out of commission in the first place. Mysterio topples backward into a Tree of Woe where Chavo uses the ring post to continue to work over Rey's knee.

From the Tree of Woe onto the canvas, Chavo wraps Rey's leg around his own neck in a torture wrack and yanks back. Rey tries to kick Chavo off with his other leg and sends Chavo flipping backwards.

Chavo unleashes an innovative maneuver, using his own leg to work over Rey's and yanking backwards with a bridge, arching back on his hands off the mat for leverage before clamping an ankle lock on Mysterio. Rey battles out of it with an ensaguri kick and then tries to run at Chavo from the ropes only to have his knee give out. Chavo gets him in a submission maneuver for a while before Rey moves to the ropes and the ref (Little Naitch!) breaks the hold.

With both Rey and Chavo at the top rope, this time, it's Rey who yanks Chavo back into a Tree of Woe. He gives Guerrero a taste of his own medicine, stomping Chavo's knee before Charles Robinson breaks it up.

Landing a Flying Senton on his nemesis, Rey gets a nearfall with Chavo kicking out. He goes to the well again with an amazing, twirling aerial DDT on Chavo, who again, gets his foot on the rope.

Chavo unleashes the Gory Special and Gory Bomb, dropping Rey to his knees and going for the pin. Rey kicks out and then attempts the 619 before his knee gives out again. Chavo capitalizes, going for the Three Amigos, but only makes it to 2. Rey gets a sudden burst of strength and lands a Hurracurana followed by a well-executed 619 and a splash, pinning Chavo for the homecoming win.

The crowd goes nuts as Mysterio celebrates with JBL conceding, "I still don't like him. But he looks better than ever."

Perhaps the best match of the night, Rey, not even considering the weight he put on, performed like a champ. While Mysterio is to undoubtedly be commended, he couldn't have done such a bang-up job were it not for Chavo, who while not as much of a high-flyer as Mysterio, certainly has no shortage of awesome maneuvers and wrestling skills. The action was fast-paced and these two haven't missed a beat with their matches in spite of the time away.

Backstage, King Booker and Queen Sharmell cut a promo with a stuffed parrot sitting on top of one of the screens. Bookah heralds his match against the returning Triple H as a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, anticipating the crowd to cheer for The H. Booker milks the segment for comedy, blinking rapidly along with his serene delivery, noting that in spite of it all, by match's end, Triple H will have bowed down to... King... Bookahh!!!


Up next is a Diva Battle Royal for the Number One Contendership for the Women's Title. Lillian Garcia cites that the only way to be eliminated is for both of the competitor's feet to touch the floor.

The Women's Champion, Candice Michelle comes out wearing a red sequinned dress to remixed music and takes a seat at ringside to watch the match.

The Divas from all three WWE brands enter the ring and the action gets underway with Jerry "The King" Lawler noting, "this is making my eyeballs very happy."

The action is fast and furious in the ring, with Mickie James pinning Beth Phoenix in the corner with a foot against her jaw. Phoenix fires back with a hard shot as ECW's Brooke is eliminated first. (Gee, didn't see that coming.) Maria does the same foot action as Mickey executed previously against Jillian who takes her down, Maria hitting the mat in a full split. Jillian eliminates Maria by handily tossing her over the top rope. Jillian and Mickie go at it in the corner. Melina takes out Leyla. Beth Phoenix drops two girls with one shot and Victoria is eliminated by Crystal. Michelle McCool then eliminates Crystal by trying to knock Mickie James over the top.

Kelly Kelly is eliniated by a bunch of girls and Mickie still manages to hang on while Jillian tries to take her out, but instead Jillian eliminates herself. Next, Mickie James eliminated by Melina. Michelle McCool eliminates Melina with a kick.

The remaining three in the ring are Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool with Beth Phoenix. Beth flings Torrie out of the ring with ease and she eyes up Michelle McCool. Michelle attempts another kick only to be easily dispatched over the top rope by the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix.

Beth Phoenix wins the Number One Contender spot!! Dude, Candice Michelle is going to get creamed! I'm not a fan of Battle Royals, particularly ones with so few participants, let alone ones who can actually wrestle. Real moments of action were spread too few and far between. The fact that some of the weaker competitors hung on for as long as they did just underscores the implausibility of this type of match. Thankfully, Beth Phoenix won the competition, and will likely take the title from Candice Michelle. While Candice has been a decent champion, Phoenix has potential to be awesome and take the Women's Division in more of a hardcore direction.

The ring is cleared and MVP's music sounds and he walks down to the ring with two assistants and a cooler, spouting off how he doesn't "care how many of the sexiest women you put in the ring, no one came to see them. They bought a ticket to see MVP." While I like MVP a lot, that statement just sums up WWE's attitude towards women's wrestling in general.

What follows next completely reeks of a Stone Cold set up. After applauding himself for his refined palate, MVP agrees to stoop to a beer drinking contest. Hardy comes out to a huge crowd response and reminds MVP about the stand-in for the boxing match MVP chose at Saturday Night's Main Event. While he had boxing legend, Evander Holyfield to step in for him, Matt Hardy has chosen a legend among beer drinkers. Enter Stone Cold Steve Austin to a massive ovation.

Austin happily accepts a beer from Hardy, the two clinking cans, emptying it handily as a warm-up beer before tossing it in the cooler. Stone Cold runs the ropes, does some pushups and jumping jacks before grabbing another can and handing one to MVP. Stone Cold lays out MVP with a stunner, yelling in his face before hoisting his middle finger high in the air. He salutes the crowd with beer and heads to the back.

The highlight of the evening -- and possibly this entire year for WWE -- in terms of sheer, laugh-out-loud comedy occurs backstage. Vince is still wondering where the woman with the info is as he hangs with his GMs. Cryme Tyme pops in, smiling brightly as they ask Vinnie Mac "What's really hood?" and dropping speculation that they could be Vince's kids because they love that "Money, money! Yeah, yeah!" Cryme Tyme starts dancing around Vince and Company, singing their unofficial theme as Coach joins in. So does Teddy Long. Regal stands with Vince, looking appalled, particularly as JTG takes his hat off and puts it on Regal sideways. RAW may be WAR, but now Regal is Thug. At that moment, Regal happily joins in on the singing and dancing as Vince gives him the disgusted look. Regal's still breaking it down with the dance moves when he turns around to see Farooq. Ron Simmons blasts him with a loud DAMN!!! Bringing the segment to a close. Priceless and perhaps the best thing on the PPV.

First out in the battle for the ECW Championship title is the Champ, John Morrison, (formerly Johnny Nitro of MNM). According to his promo he's "beyond good and evil" and exists in a plane known as "the palace of wisdom." He's got the Jim Morrison/Lizard King gimmick down pat, although his current incarnation reminds me a little bit of Sean O'Haire's guru gimmick from several years ago. Either way, it's a cool character concept and Morrison looks eerily like the Doors frontman. or continue being slaves to society. Lizard King gimmick. Morrison's lines remind me more of Sean O'Haire in his guru gimmick, both of which I loved.

CM Punk makes his entrance, ready to fight and the two lock up with a headlock. Punk throws Morrison over his head in an airplane spin and takes the Champion down to the canvas before landing a top-rope dropkick to the face. Morrison fires back with a stunning display, yanking Punk backwards over the top rope by his neck, his spine connecting with the ring's edge.

Morrison applied pressure to Punk's neck during the entire bout in some creative ways. Punk also threw out some interesting moves, including a high-knee lift on the ropes while attempting a bulldog and a rolling powerslam from the top rope with Morrison on his back.

In the final moments of the match, Punk goes to the top rope and botches the Hurracurrana. Morrison retains by putting his feet on the ropes for leverage and pinning CM Punk.

While a decent match, I was expecting more. Morrison is undoubtedly one of my favorites. He has a great look about him, puts on some great matches and comes up with some interesting maneuvers. The guy is the total package. He's not the "big man" / hoss that the company usually likes to push but is still built, he has a good look, has beefed up his promo skills and delivers with his matches. It may not be the most popular view to take, but I think that it's a good thing, keeping the strap on John Morrison. There's still some chase for the gold for CM Punk and Punk really doesn't need to gold to cement his reputation. At this point, Punk looks to be groomed for the position Tommy Dreamer was in the ECW heyday. Dreamer held the title for a split second, but didn't need it to be recognized as the face of ECW. It's not like Morrison's held it as long as Cena has his title.

Up next is Triple H's homecoming match. King Booker comes out with Queen Sharmell and good ol' J.R. and Lawler mention Booker's impressive 21 titles he's won throughout his career. Following footage of Lawler stomping Booker's crown and King Booker swirling around with his fabulous robe, pinky extended, we're treated to the "Triple H as the Bionic Man" package.

The speakers blare "Are! You! Ready!" and after a career montage and a shitload of pyro, (no one ever looses a match with that much of an investment in pyro), something in Latin lights up the Titan Tron. Doing a little bit of internet recon, I discover that "Genibus Nitito Canus" translates to "On Your Knees, Dog", which will apparently be the new slogan to slap on a Triple H t-shirt sometime in the near future. Triple H comes out and looks AWESOME. You can really see his abs even though he's jacked to the gills. He's got his bottle of water and spews it.

The crowd is firmly in H's corner as Booker fires the first shot, a boot to the gut. Triple H makes with the hard right hands and clotheslines Booker over the top rope. The King gains to his feet and gets back in.

Booker gets some serious heat and goes ghetto on the crowd. He throws the knee at H from the corner and is again clotheslined over the top. Outside the ring, Triple H slams Booker's head into the barricade. Booker battles back, kicking H in the gut before Trips reverses the momentum with a Facebuster. Sharmell intervenes, grabbing H's knee to trip him up. Booker drags him out and works on his knee, slamming it on the side of the ring. H dodges it and slaps on the Figure Four. Much of Triple H's offense has been a love letter to Ric Flair.

Sharmell busts it up by raking the eyes and Booker stomps Triple H in the corner. The two competitors trade hard fists. For the third time during the match, Booker's thrown over the top rope. Outside, H makes Booker eat ring steps… twice … before going for a Spinebuster. Booker comes back, attempting his Scissorkick and misses, but manages to get the Bookend on Triple H. He climbs to the top rope, nails Triple H and Tha H is undaunted, suddenly possessing Undertaker-like abilities. Triple H nails the DX crotch chop and hits Booker with the Pedigree for the pin and win.

JR has apparently taken his Paula Abdul pills, branding this match and Triple H as "amazing." I hear the "a-word" more times in five minutes than I would in an hour of programming on E!

While Triple H looked to be in excellent condition and really seemed to have appreciated the crowd's enormous reaction to his return, slapping hands with fans post-match, it was your standard Triple H match. All of the usual hallmarks were present. I wouldn't say it was "amazing," rather, I'd use another "a-word": Average.

The match didn't suck, but I wasn't exactly wishing it didn't end, either.
As predicted, the Batista vs. The Great Khali match for the World Title was probably the weakest on the card. Money would have been better spent watching Khali break it down to some Bhangra like he did during his belt-winning celebration.

After a highlight reel of the Khali n' 'Tista feud, the giant Punjabi comes out with his Transistor Translator and his World Title belt.

Batista makes his standard entrance, doing his typewriter dance as his pyro goes off, seeming to be in awesome shape.

Things start off with Khali choking and hammering Batista into the corner before the ref breaks it up. Lots of punching and kicking offense by the two men before Khali eventually swats Batista to the canvas, knocking him backwards with a stationary clothesline. Batista runs at Khali and it's like a brick wall. Khali tries to cover him with the foot and Batista gets the shoulder up. For at least a solid minute or two, Khali uses his massive mitts to execute a Double-Handed Vulcan Nerve Pinch to Batista, squeezing Batista's traps. Batista manages to grab the ropes and the ref breaks it up. A knee to the back sends Batista to the canvas an Khali again digs into Batista's traps.

When Batista finally gets to his feet, he blocks the Khali Vice Grip and nails the Champion with a Spinebuster. Dude. Batista starts hulking up on the ropes and attempts the Batista Bomb. At the top rope, Batista practically jumps into a chokeslam and is thrown back to the canvas with the Khali Bomb. Batista kicks out of the nearfall, prompting The Great Khali to run to the outside, snatch up a steel chair and whack Batista with it. Batista wins via DQ.

At this point, Batista goes apeshit, spearing Khali after the towering Punjabi tries to chair him again. Batista grabs the chair off Khali and wails away on him repeatedly.

I knew this was going to be the weakest match on the PPV, but I had no idea it would be almost five solid minutes of Batista receiving the (Third?) world's worst deep tissue massage for a good chunk of the match. I'm wondering if Crayola is going to make a new shade called "Unimpressed," which is what you could color me regarding this match. Two thumbs down. Go ahead, Ebert. Sue me!

Backstage, in Vince McMahon headquarters, Moolah and Mae Young pop in for an appearance. Moolah's having a great hair day, incidentally, like she went out and bought a ceramic straightener. Hey, you gotta give an old broad her props when she looks good! After a misunderstanding, believing Mae Young to be the mother of Vince's illegitimate spawn. After clearing up a misunderstanding, Coach informs Vince that Mae Young wants relations with him so she can HAVE his bastard son. Mae tackles Vince attempting to French him like Bret Michaels on a first date. An outraged Moolah/Mae's handler screams "What's wrong with you?!" yanking her off of Vince back by her hair until they both exit the room.

Vince gags before admitting to Coach that he liked it and that the whole episode rather turned him on. Imparting some wisdom, Vince notes to Coach (and the audience) that "Old chicken makes good soup."

In the main event of the night, Randy Orton takes on the WWE Champion John Cena in a match for the title. As the two young competitors lock up, the crowd is super into it, largely in Orton's corner.

The first part of the match was mostly the two young lions trading headlocks and chinlocks back and forth, trying to do neck damage. Cena tries to push Orton's head backwards and eventually, both men are on their feet and during a run to the ropes, Cena takes down Orton with a trip. He tries for the STFU and Orton makes it to the ropes to break the hold.

Orton is cheered as he punches Cena's brain and a loud chant of "Fuck him up!" breaks out through the arena.

The action goes outside as Cena is sent flying to the outside and thrown face-first into the announce table. Cena's chest connected with it and Orton follows to capitalize, throwing him back inside the ring, Cena kicking out of a nearfall.. More headlocks/chinlocks by Orton. Cena picks up Orton around his waist. Orton dodges out of the way as Cena comes running at him. Orton keeps moving and then stomps Cena. The Orton Stomps rain down with Randy capping it off with one to the head. He readies himself to plant a knee to the temple but Cena rolls out of the way.

Cena battles back to his feet and Orton picks him up for another impressive and fast slam.

On the mat, Orton goes for (you guessed it) more chokeholds on the mat. There are mixed chants for both Cena and Orton, the crowd definitely reacting strongly. Cena goes to the ropes and Orton hits him with a dropkick and more chokeholds.

Cena picks up Orton and slams him to the canvas horizontally, rattling off the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Orton before getting the FU on the challenger. After a hard hit to Orton, Randy comes back with his awesome Inverted Backbreaker. Orton's eyes glaze over and he's going for the kill. He DDTs Cena off the ropes with Cena's feet still on it, face planting him to the canvas.

Cena kicks out. Orton goes into his stance kinda like a snake pounding on a glass cage when he sees live food. He prepares to pounce with the RKO. Cena runs at him and then Orton ducks, Cena throwing himself over the top rope. Orton goes outside and slams Orton to the steel steps. He drags him back into the ring and goes for a pin. Cena kicks out. Girls cheer.

Cena executes an extremely nice twisting DDT to Orton on the canvas. Orton and Cena are at the top rope and Cena pries Orton off of him. The Champ goes for the FU near the ropes and Orton overpowers him, bouncing Cena's head off the edge of the ring before going back into his snakelike stance. Cena lays on the mat clutching his head. Orton warms up his boot and is ready to play "Kick the baby" on Cena's head. Cena dodges and trips Orton, taking him down to the mat and gets Orton in the STFU. Orton inches towards the ropes trying to get to the ropes. After three tries, he finally makes it and the ref breaks it. He recovers to his feet, hitting the devastating RKO on Cena and … Cena kicks out. Orton clutches his knee. As he sells the knee and Cena picks him up in the FU and drops him to the canvas, pinning him to retain the title.

Wow. What a bunch of crap. When will this shit end already? Don't get me wrong. This happened to be a really good match. However, a lot of the same moves were recycled over and over again within minutes of one another, particularly the headlock/chinlock as the default maneuver. It would be one thing to have it all lead up to a climactic and dramatic finish, but to have Cena bounce rapidly back from the RKo and then take out Orton with the FU is a little much. While I like Cena, the guy needs to drop the belt. It's not his fault, but the fans will likely pin the blame on Cena for the Shawshank-level of ass-raping without lube that Creative has handed to the fans time and time again. Hell, at this rate, why even bother to have Cena in Title matches anymore if you know he's going to hold on to the belt forever… Or at least until they're ready to put it on Triple H again, whichever scenario the Powers That Be deems to come first in their infinite wisdom. (Because please believe, you know that's coming.)

With not a single one of the titles changing hands, it put a downer on the whole PPV. None of the stories were advanced and the slow build failed to yield any sort of payoff for the fans.

Once again, the mid-card outperformed the main-eventers. To be fair, Orton and Cena did a great job, but the match left a bad taste in the ol' gingivitis trap. Batista and Khali was a narcoleptic's wet dream. And Morrison vs. Punk, while both men are solid performers, seemed to be null and void.

While I'm not sorry I paid money to see SummerSlam, it was certainly a disappointment.